Friday, December 31, 2010

In 2011...

Dear Diary,

Today is New Year's Eve. And I'm deciding on a resolution. But, the things that are swimming around in my brain aren't really resolutions, they are more like a list of wants for the year. And so that's what you're going to get mine diary. My list of "wants" for the year. (And maybe a resolution or two just to mix it up.)

In 2011
I want to..

Have more adventures.
laugh more,
sing more,
dance more,
art more,
craft more,
cook more,
bake more,
take Marafication to a whole new level,
have a picnic on a roof,
swim in both the Atlantic and the Pacific oceans,
ride a train,
rekindle old friendships that have fallen by the wayside,
take more pictures,
make new friends,
meet at least 10 new interesting people,
go to the zoo,
go to the aquarium,
go sing karaoke,
be less afraid,
be bolder,
write more,
send and receive more letters,
play tag in the dark,
lay out underneath the stars,
make a wreath of daisies,
make a secret code,
go dancing,
go tagging,
make a mural,
break some rules,
smile more,
worry less,
eat more chocolate,
volunteer more,
go to mass more,
audition for a play,
go caroling,
go on a road trip,
visit Canada,
try new and exotic foods,
go camping,
learn to read tea leaves,
practice tarot more,
say hello to more strangers,
have a LOTR marathon,
dress up for Halloween,
put up decorations every holiday,
wear outrageous outfits,
turn heads,
eat frozen yogurt,
buy organic,
recycle more,
egg a car,
toilet paper a house,
scrapbook,
eat fresh fruit under a tree,
read more good books,
discover new places,
learn to juggle,
paint more,
watch less TV,
loose a little weight,
eat less fast food,
use wisdom more,
and take deeper breaths.


With love,

Mara




Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Free Writing # 1

Dear Diary,

Free Writing is an exercise for writer's who need to keep their brains in shape. It's pretty easy. To begin, you have two choices:
1. Directed free writing.
2. Open free writing.

If you chose the first, (Directed) then you need to have a jumping off point. It can be anything you can base writing off of, which incidentally is anything. I like to use quotes, philosophical questions, questions about myself or my family, and sometimes I just use a single word.

For this first free writing, I used a random word generator which can be found here:

Then, you take ten FULL minutes, (no breaks) and you write about whatever it was your jumping off point was. If you did this say, once every day, you would find that over time it becomes easier to just sit down and write. Your brain is a muscle. You have to use it so it will become stronger!

However if you wanted to do "Open Free Writing" you simply sit down with a piece of paper in front of you and start to write about the first thing that pops into your head, again for 10 minutes.

I think free writing works best if you do it with a pen and paper, because you aren't supposed to stop, erase, or really fix anything. You are simply supposed to write. For me to post my free writing up here, however, I do have to type it. I'll try to resist the spell checker.

Okay so for my first free writing, I got the randomly selected word: POLICE.

Here's what I came up with:

Max sat on the hard wooden chair in the kitchen his eyes glued to the table top. The tension in the room was so thick the air seemed to be polluted with a poisonous gas. His mother sat at one end of the table, huddled up in her chair, she looked as if she was trying to make herself small enough to disappear altogether. All around the room red and blue lights flashed from the police cars outside. Somewhere outside Max’s father sat in the back of a car his hands cuffed together. Flashes of the fight kept attacking his inner eye, making him flinch violently.

“Ma’am, My name is Officer Kently, we’re going to need you to answer some questions. Do you think you can handle that?” The voice of a female police officer said somewhere behind Max’s back.

Next to him, he heard an audible release of air from his mother. “Yes, I-I think I can.”

“Good. Was this the first time your husband has hit you?” His mother hesitated. “Ma’am?”

“No. No this isn’t the first time he’s hit me.” His mother said at last, her voice shaky and quiet.

“Have you ever reported him being violent before?” Asked Officer Kently.

“No, he’s never been so…enraged before. And... He’s never hit Max before tonight.” At this, Max touched his face where he could feel the swelling of what surely must have been a large black eye. He looked up at his mother tears welling in his young eyes. She looked at him, her heart break at his pain plain in her brown eyes.

“How old is your son, ma’am?” Continued the officer.

“Nine.” She replied, reaching out her hand to touch his. “I’m so sorry, Maxie. I’m so sorry.” Her face broke then and fresh tears ran down her cheeks. Max stood up and went to her, wrapping his thin arms around her neck, holding on tight.

“Can you tell me what the circumstances were for the outburst?”

“I had just finished cleaning up after dinner when Rick found the vodka I hid from him in the back of the cupboard under the sink. I had told him that I had knocked it over accidently and it had broken. He was furious.”

“And why did you hide the bottle from him?” asked Officer Kently, taking a seat where Max had just stood up, placing her notebook on the table and scribbling down her notes. Max looked at the questioner for the first time, sizing up the small woman in the blue uniform. Her blonde hair was pulled back tightly from her face in a ponytail. She looked kindly at Max as his mother answered.

“He is an alcoholic, and gets enraged when he’s drunk. I was tired of Max being scared of him. I figured that if I hid the bottle, he wouldn’t drink for a few days, and he would remember what it was like when he was a real father.” Max hid his head on his mother’s collar bone. He breathed in her calming scent deeply, and she pulled him up so he was sitting on her lap.

“What happened after he found the bottle? What did he do?” Said Officer Kently, writing down even more notes.

Max hung onto his mother as if she were a life saver on a wild tossing ocean, tightening his arms around her as the scene played out in his mind in a horrifying clarity.

“Linda! What do you think you’re doing?!” Yelled Max’s father, causing Max to whip around in his seat at the table, forgetting his bowl of i.....TIME!


And that's free writing!

With love,
Mara

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Christmas.

Dear Diary,

Over the holidays people are always asking you things like, "What's your favorite thing about Christmas?" or "What special traditions does your family have?"

And to answer both: giving.

Although my family has never had all that great of means, (Financially, that is.) they do have large hearts. And it's been more than once that they saved Christmas for kids besides their own.

I can remember years in a row where my mother and father have seen friends of my brother and I who's family, come Christmas, was destitute. And instead of sending them a basket, or a box of old canned food, my mother picked them out presents, invited them over for dinner and gave them a sweet memory, along with the carefully and colorfully wrapped packages under the tree.

When I was younger, during the holidays my dad would take me with him as he delivered food boxes from St. Vincent de Paul to different families all over Portland. I can still see the faces of the people he delivered them to. At the sight of my father, carrying box after box of food into their home, their faces would light up, and even to me, the Christmas decorations seemed to shine and sparkle just a little bit brighter.

At every family holiday there can never be too many people. We are collectors of people. Don't have a place to go on Thanksgiving? Come to my family's celebration. There's always enough food. Need to celebrate Christmas? We've got a party, and of course you're invited.

So now that I'm older and have the chance to give during the holidays, I get excited. I start planning presents and crafts weeks before it's really necessary. I dream about what presents to get, I make lists and consider each person carefully. And why do I do so much? Because I love it. I love the look of happiness on someone's face when they open a gift and see that it was picked out especially for them. It fills a special place in my heart with joy. To me, it doesn't matter the size of the gift. If it's small, it's because it's something special. And yes, if it's within my means to give large presents, I will. But it's not out of me wanting reciprocation of equal or lesser value. I just love giving gifts. Big or small, hand made or store bought, having something to give to the people I love is as much of a gift for me as it is for them.

Well anyway, that's my two cents on Christmas.
With love,
Mara

Friday, December 10, 2010

Let's Get Serious.

Dear Diary,
I've decided to get serious about writing. And I mean REALLY serious. I'm about a quarter of the way through my first real life outline! It's pretty detailed, and I am excited about where I'm going with it.

It is a fantasy story. Which I'm a little nervous about because you never really know how people will be about fantasy. Some people are totally into it. ("I believe in fairies!") And then other people are not so forgiving. ("Uhm, I only read about real life, kthnxbai.") And who knows what publishers are interested in.

But this is my story. I can feel it.

Ever since I realized that I wanted to be a writer, I've been waiting for the story. Not just one I can stand long enough to actually finish it, but the story I fall in love with. Other writers out there know what I'm talking about. The one that hovers just beyond your conscious mind. You see them in your dreams, the scenes of your perfect story. You wait and wait, going through countless other ideas. You may even write a few books before you hit your story. But when you do, its perfect. It oozes out of your fingers from an imagination you thought you had lost long ago. The characters are like the many shades of you. They become your children in a sense, and almost seem to take on a life of their own. The scenery is picture perfect and the plot line flows as easily as a river.

Yeah. I've found that story.
Now, its a matter of staying focused, and getting it all out before it slips away like a fish, to sparkle and tease me from just below the placid waters of my imagination.

With love,
Mara.